Mother of Change
Black cats can evoke fear and superstition in certain individuals. Ancient Egypt regarded the black cat, Bastet or Bast as a deity. She protected the home and assisted with motherhood, a goddess of fertility. I have such a cat in my home. Her name is Licorice, as in black licorice, she likes to lick. As her ancient relative did thousands of years ago, she too is a protector of all things feminine.
A regal lady with a hunter’s heart, she prowls the yard in search of frogs, At times she wanders far, in pursuit of prey. Such was the case, when she did not come home one night. Typically, when I call her she runs to the back door within minutes. Frantic, I went to bed with her outside in the woods.
Morning came and still no Licorice. I called, I searched and I contacted my friend, who connects with animals. Licorice was fine, “Hunting,” she said. The day passed and she did not return. Sensing she was near, my friend suggested rubbing the scent of her sister on an old cloth and leaving a trail to help her find the way home. The girls and I rode bikes to her possible location. We dropped torn cloth back to our home.
She spent another night alone, out in the forest, no food or water. Morning came and she was not at the door. I called her name and prepared myself for more searching. Within minutes she returned. Relieved, I held her tight. We snuggled throughout the day. The next day she was ready for a new adventure. I was not.
Licorice is a teenager. She wants to be independent, yet she still needs her momma, not only for food and water, but for snuggles and lap time. My kids are a reflection of her and her sister, Pearl, both “teenagers”. As a woman, I understand the importance of independence and adventure. As I mother, I struggle with allowing my “kids,” all of them, to be independent and adventurous.
If they don’t need me, then what is my purpose? My purpose was re-defined when they arrived at our home, through birth and adoption. Leaving the corporate world, pursuing dreams and adapting to being a “stay at home” mom has not been easy. As I accept the fact that they are changing, I too need to be in a state of constant change. Being a “mother of change” is the only stability I have.
