A Sense of Self

A Sense of Self

We are all sensitive.  We all have senses, from hearing sounds, to smelling aromas_, and tasting flavors.  We are inundated with senses, especially in today’s fast paced and high tech world.  Unaware of most senses, we lead our busy lives.  Even the highly recognizable senses, such as touch and sight, can flash by us if we aren’t aware.

Let’s take a moment, breathe in, and listen to the sounds, see the sights and smell the fragrance.  Connect.  Connect with your “sense of self”.

As a child, I was labeled shy and introverted.  Often I would escape the “world” on my bike, and head to the nearest creek, or woods, for “alone” time.  Not knowing, at the time, I was gaining a “sense of self”.  As I grew, comments such as “although you are quiet, you seem nice” or awards, like “basically bashful” were handed to me during my college years.

At work, I retreated to tasks I could do alone.  Large crowds, chaos, and noise were overwhelming to my senses.  I would shut down.  Watching shows or being with people in emotional upheaval would send me into tears, and drain my energy.  Can anyone relate?  What are some of your sensitivities?  

We all are sensitive, whether we are aware or not.  We may be empathetic or intuitive or both?  Our sensitive side comes from the heart, not the head.   As a society, we value mental capability.  As sensitives, we need to honor and protect our heart-centered self.  

Working in corporate America for twenty years as a sensitive was difficult.  In a highly stressful and highly mental position, I did not appreciate who I was, an introverted, empathetic, and sensitive soul.  The negative environment, with little time to process all the incoming data was detrimental to my spirit.  Health challenges, relationship problems, and self-abusive behaviors were the outcome.  Can anyone relate?   

Whether highly sensitive or slightly sensitive, knowing yourself and having a sense of who you are is key.  What works for one person, may not be beneficial for you.  In quiet time, connect with your inner being and determine what brings you the most comfort.  It may vary depending on the time or year or the season in your life.  At fifty, I find more solace in just being with myself.  As I age, my sensitivities increase.

Anxiety plagued my life and still does at times.  When I am in a large crowd, or a busy environment, I panic.  If I hear excessive noise, or toxic smells, I cringe, like the reaction to nails on a blackboard.  Talking to people I don't know, is frightening.  Yet, in our world, we must adapt.  Sitting in a cave in the woods, is not an option, as a mom of two teenage daughters.  I must go to unfamiliar places, meet strange people, and hang out in crowds.  This, I can’t control.    

So I control what I can.  My home is a sanctuary, in the woods.  It is clean and organized. I walk daily in nature, to calm and ground myself, while connecting with Mother Earth.  Listening to quiet music throughout the day soothes my spirit.  Meditating and praying remind me I am not alone, as I call in protection.  Avoiding most public media, I read motivational materials and watch uplifting videos.  Boundaries are set, and “no” is an acceptable word. My diet consists of healthy choices, with plenty of fresh fruits and veggies.  These are my choices.  This is what balances me. What brings a “sense of self” to you may be different.  People and noise may energize you?  Cities and new adventures might excite your spirit?  

What is important is having a “sense of self,” whatever that is for you?  Honor and respect your needs and desires.  Live your life for you.  Find your joy. As you discover or really, re-cover your “sense of self” your spirit will soar and your purpose will be fulfilled.

Susan J. McFarland

January, 2016